“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about.”
Blog #4 May 4th, 2024
A common clinical issue I often see in my practice are clients who grew up with emotionally invalidating parents. Individuals who grew up in such environments as adults often exhibit behaviors of indecision, procrastination, and prioritization of other people’s needs before their own. Conversely, some adults who grew up in such environments, can also exhibit demanding and entitlement attitudes, as an “over corrective” form of coping since they learned that this was only way they could protect their sense of agency by “out aggressing” their parents’ invaliding or critical demands while growing up.
As children who grew up invalidating environments, often they were made to feel guilty or made to feel like they are burden, whenever they expressed their emotional needs. As adults they have a difficult time trusting their intuition because their emotions were often gaslighted. So their sense of self agency is underdeveloped.
Through therapy, I work to help my clients understand all emotional aspects of themselves in a safe environment. It is through this consistent process of self understanding, prioritization of your emotional needs, and grieving, that one can gradually begin to rebuilt and relate to themselves in healthier way.
Blog#3 February 24th, 2024
Perspectives of why you should not do therapy with companies like Betterhelp, as its business framework prioritizes shareholder profits over therapy ethics and the therapist and patient relationship.
https://www.amha-or.com/the-toxic-impact-of-venture-capital-on-psychotherapy
Blog #2 August 27th, 2023
Inner child concept and writings:
https://time.com/6268636/inner-child-work-healing/
https://www.healthline.com/health/inner-child
Blog #1 May 29th, 2023
The Lingering Impact of Unmet Emotional Experiences and Childhood Trauma on Adult Emotional Well-being
Our emotional experiences during childhood play a crucial role in shaping our identities and relationships as adults. When parents fail to provide the necessary emotional support and understanding, and when traumatic events disrupt our formative years, the impact can be long-lasting. In this blog post, we will explore how unmet emotional experiences by parents and traumatic events during childhood continue to affect adults in the way they manage their emotions and relate to others, and how to heal from these adverse experiences through therapy.
The Importance of Emotional Nurturing
Emotional nurturing from parents is essential for a child's healthy emotional development. When parents are emotionally unavailable or dismissive of their child's feelings, the child may grow up feeling neglected, invalidated, or even ashamed of their emotions. As a residual effect, this can lead to difficulties in expressing and managing emotions as adults, often resulting in challenges such as emotional volatility, suppressed feelings, or fear of emotional intimacy.
Unresolved Traumatic Experiences
Childhood trauma, such as neglect, or witnessing frequent parental conflict, can have profound and lasting effects on an individual's emotional well-being. Trauma disrupts the development of healthy coping mechanisms and can leave individuals vulnerable to a range of emotional difficulties. Adults who have experienced trauma during childhood may struggle with issues such as trust, fear of rejection, self-esteem, and self-regulation of emotions. For example, some individuals may become overly reactive, experiencing intense emotional responses to minor triggers. Others may become emotionally withdrawn, suppressing their emotions and opinions, as a defense mechanism.
Interpersonal Relationships
Unresolved emotional experiences from childhood can significantly impact an individual's ability to form and maintain healthy relationships. The fear of rejection, abandonment, or betrayal may cause individuals to struggle with trust and intimacy. They may also struggle with boundaries, assertiveness, and effective communication, making it difficult to establish and sustain meaningful connections.
Impact on Self-Esteem and Identity
Unmet emotional needs can shape an individual's perception of themselves and the world around them. They may develop negative core beliefs about their worth, such as feeling unworthy, unlovable, or inherently flawed. These negative beliefs can deeply impact their self-esteem and how they view themselves as adults. Behaviorally, low self-worth can manifest in the following ways:
Internalizing Blame and Shame: Children who experience trauma or neglect often internalize blame and shame for what happened to them. They may believe that they are at fault or that there is something inherently wrong with them. These feelings of guilt and shame can persist into adulthood, leading to low self-esteem and self-worth.
Self-Criticism and Perfectionism: Individuals who have experienced childhood trauma or unmet emotional needs may develop a critical inner voice. They may constantly criticize themselves, striving for perfection as a way to gain external validation and a sense of self-worth. However, this constant self-criticism create a constant sense of inadequacy.
Difficulty with Self-Validation: People who have experienced unmet emotional needs may struggle with self-validation. They may rely heavily on external validation and approval from others to feel good about themselves.
Impaired Self-Identity: Childhood trauma can disrupt the development of a stable and coherent self-identity. Individuals may struggle to develop a sense of who they are and what they value.